Therapy for Teens

Finding a therapist for teenagers in New York can be difficult. Hopefully, we can answer any questions you have here, but if you still have questions, feel free to contact us.

Adolescence is unlike any other time in our lives. At the very moment when everything about our physical appearance is changing and we are trying to figure out who we want to be, we are simultaneously scrutinized by our friends, teachers, coaches, and parents about our appearance, intelligence, athleticism, and behavior in a way we weren’t just a year or two before. Friend groups shift and as they start to congeal and normalcy to sets in, you’re off to college to figure everything out again.

Going to college can have its own set of challenges. Having just navigated those difficult four years of high school, many teenagers find themselves far away from family, not knowing what to study, how to make friends, or who they want to be. Even those who have good support systems can find themselves struggling and wondering what comes next. The teenage years are thus unusually challenging and although parents and friends both serve as tremendous supports during this time, it is helpful to have someone dedicated specifically to you.

The Rise of Depression and Anxiety

Troublingly, rates of depression in adolescents have risen precipitously in the past decade or so with 8% of teens meeting the criteria for a major depressive episode in 2009 to nearly 16% in 2019.[1] This is true more generally: the prevalence of all mental disorders among children and adolescents has been increasing over the last two decades [2] and, according to a nationally representative survey, in 2016 alone 41% of children aged 6-11 and 59% of adolescents aged 12-17 were diagnosed with a mental disorder; only only 50.6% received treatment from a mental health professional.[3]

This rise in depressive symptoms neatly coincides with the emergence and popularization of social media, and some research suggests that the two are linked.[4]While social media has helped many isolated people find community, it has also enhanced the level of anxiety and pressure most teens feel have a certain kind of image or to be a part of a group and so serves as an advertisement of one’s lack of belonging when one is struggling to make friends. So while the connection between social media and depression in adolescents is debated, what is not at all in question is the amount of scrutiny teens today are under – from teachers, coaches, friends, and parents – and the way social media serves as a connective tissue through all of these areas.

As well, because of the popularity of certain sites and apps – in particular Instagram and TikTok – a lot of people claiming to be “experts” on mental health have flooded these sites providing information or advice to people suffering from mental health issues. Though sometimes these people are competent clinicians or researchers, more often they echo a popular perspective and so reinforce beliefs instead of challenge them, and calcify negative emotions instead of helping to work through them.

Parents and Teenage Years

As hard as this time is for teenagers, when teens are struggling, parents are struggling too. As the saying goes, you can only be as happy as your least happy child. Parenting a teenager carries with it unique difficulties that the elementary school years just don’t prepare you for. And worst of all, parents are in some ways in a uniquely poor position to help their kid feel better. Parents have to negotiate between being someone your kid can come to in a hard moment while also being someone who sets rules; between being someone who is there to help make good decisions while also being non-judgmental and someone who doesn’t invalidate experiences. Parents are often in the uncomfortable and unenviable position of being told how horrible things feel while being unable to do anything about it without being perceived as part of the problem.

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy for adolescents offers a safe and non-judgmental space to speak with someone without the social ramifications that might come from friends or awkwardness that might come from parents. In therapy, we work together to learn to regulate emotions, overcome anxieties, and speak to other people to receive support when it is needed.

Adolescence is the ideal time to start going to therapy. Not only can it dramatically improve mood, academic performance, and emotional development[5] but it can take the pressure off of the relationship teens have with their parents, allowing the family to come together again as a unit.

[1] Daly, M. (2022). Prevalence of depression among adolescents in the U.S. from 2009 to 2019: Analysis of trends by sex, race/ethnicity, and income. Journal of Adolescent Health, 70(3), 496-499.

[2] Tkacz, J., & Brady, B. L. (2021). Increasing rate of diagnosed childhood mental illness in the United States: Incidence, prevalence and costs. Public Health in Practice, 2, 100204.

Perou, R., Bitsko, R. H., Blumberg, S. J., Pastor, P., Ghandour, R. M., Gfroerer, J. C., Hedden, S. L., …, & Huang, L. N. (2013). Mental health surveillance among children – United States, 2005-2011. The Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report Supplement, 62,(2), 1-35.

[3] Whitney, D. G., & Peterson, M. D. (2019). Prevalence of mental health disorders and disparities of mental health care use in children. JAMA Pediatrics, 173(4), 389-391. doi:10.1001/jamapediatrics.2018.5399

[4] Twenge, J. M., Joiner, T. E., Rogers, M. L., & Martin, G. N. (2018). Increases in Depressive Symptoms, Suicide-Related Outcomes, and Suicide Rates Among U.S. Adolescents After 2010 and Links to Increased New Media Screen Time. Clinical Psychological Science, 6(1), 3–17.

Haidt, J. (2024). The Anxious Generation. New York: Penguin Press.

[5] Baker H.J., Lawrence P. J., Karalus J., Creswell C., Waite P. (2021). The Effectiveness of Psychological Therapies for Anxiety Disorders in Adolescents: A Meta-Analysis. Clinical Child and Family Psycholology Review, 24(4), 765-782.

Tonge B. J., Pullen J. M., Hughes G. C., Beaufoy J. (2009). Effectiveness of psychoanalytic psychotherapy for adolescents with serious mental illness: 12 month naturalistic follow-up study. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 43, 467–475.

Edlund J. N., Carlberg G. (2016) Psychodynamic psychotherapy with adolescents and young adults: Outcome in routine practice. Clinical Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 21(1), 66-80.

How long does couples therapy take?

Of course, giving an exact answer to this is impossible, but the duration of of couples therapy will be based on the following: Getting right to work: Couples therapy typically moves a bit quicker than individual therapy, but that relies on couples showing up ready to work. We understand that it can feel uncomfortable to have a third person in the room while you argue, discuss deep areas of resentment and sadness, or uncertainties about the relationship, but it is essential to moving through the the current period into something more productive. Do your homework: Couples therapy often involves homework or assignments to work on or think about in-between sessions. That can feel corny or burdensome on your already overloaded schedule, but it really must be done. Individual therapy: In the course of couples therapy, we will invariably touch on painful topics. Having an understanding of those vulnerabilities and what you are bringing to the table is extremely helpful. Although it is not a necessary prerequisite, individual therapy is often the best place to identify and work on those individual issues.
How soon is too soon for couples therapy?

In general, there is a very low false positive to couples therapy and a very high false negative - that is, if you go to a therapist when you don't really need to, it generally does very little damage, but if you don't go to a therapist and you do need to, it is generally very damaging. Researchers once worried that couples therapy was ineffective because people came to therapy too late, so if you are thinking about couples therapy, it is probably a good time to check it out.
Can we do couples therapy remotely?

The short answer is: Yes, but not at the beginning. Although remote therapy can be very effective, it is important that your therapist is able to see the way you interact with each other, and this involves more than just what you say. As the therapy progresses, remote therapy is no problem, but in-person sessions are preferred.
What if my partner refuses to go to couples therapy?

Therapy has to be a voluntary choice. If your partner has questions about the process and would like to discuss these with your therapist prior to your sessions, they are welcome to do so. If they are unwilling, you are alway welcome to explore your issues in individual therapy.