The Pitfalls of Puberty: Interview with Mom'sWhoThink.com

Puberty is an intense and destabilizing experience for everyone. The rise of social media and the impossible standards women in particular have to contend with can make this period particularly difficult for girls. At Madison Park Psychotherapy, our therapists work with kids in this exact age-range and so are familiar with the difficulties girls face when navigating puberty.

So, when Lianna Tedesco was looking to speak to experts on child development and psychotherapy for teenagers, she reached out to Jordan Conrad, the founder and clinical director of Madison Park Psychotherapy. In “The Signs of Puberty in Girls That Every Mom Needs to Know” Jordan explains that parents can sometimes forget the psychological aspect of puberty: “It is sometimes hard to appreciate the significance of this period for kids, and the physical aspects of puberty are just one part.” One thing, Jordan notes, that becomes activated during this time is what he calls “perception management”: It is a natural time to start engaging in what is sometimes called ‘perception management' — or, controlling how other people perceive you. After all, your body is changing, there are new kids, sports and school are getting more serious – it makes sense to try to reinvent yourself a little bit.”

The desire to manage how other people see you makes sense, because the reality is that other people are looking more intently at you: “In middle school, adults start looking more closely, and kids feel that. You may have liked math in fifth grade, but in sixth grade, you might have a teacher trying to sort you into an advanced class or a remedial class; soccer was fun, and you were good at it, but now practices are more serious, and coaches and parents expect more from you.”

Unsurprisingly, this is a time when anxiety and depression both spike. Jordan explains “Unfortunately, there is substantial evidence suggesting that social anxiety increases as puberty progresses. This is also largely true for depression—it is more common in adolescent girls than in boys and tends to worsen as pubertal development continues.” 

When this happens, therapy is a good option. Instead of having the judging eyes of parents, teachers, coaches, and peers on you, Jordan says “A therapist might be the only person in your life at that time who doesn't need you to be any particular way other than who you naturally are.”

“As a result, kids tend to form more stratified social groups around this time: you become a smart kid or a jock or a popular kid or the class clown. In many cases, kids move from relatively small elementary schools to larger middle schools, feeding into even larger high schools, meaning that a whole new set of people is also judging you!”